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How to be close to a friend in pain

True friendship: a deep connection

When you really care about someone you realize that it’s not just about studying or shopping together or talking about others and gossiping; when you really care about someone you want to share on a deep level and give and receive the security that in some way that person is part of your life project, you include them in your plans, in the sharing of your deep feelings and emotions.

True friendship does not end in ordinary and banal things, but rests in simple yet meaningful actions. Communication, prospects, hope are all factors that have to do with having someone in your heart. Maybe you find that friendship has an important degree of relevance just when you see your friend sick. So what to do? How to react? How do you bring it to your light and your optimism? Certainly, when someone is sick, we cannot spread all the joy of the world around it, it is a question of staying and feeling and understanding how to intervene, moment by moment, without a rigid programmatic manifesto.

First of all it comes to understand pain. Especially if you are dealing with a friend who has recently met, it may not be exactly straightforward to understand how and how much she is suffering. In some cases the pain remains silent, due to education or an introverted attitude. Sometimes the pain exists and manifests itself perhaps in unconventional ways. The soul needs and desires full joy, but when relationships don’t advance or school goes badly or we don’t get what we want, we can feel very bad about it and decide to show it or not. In any case, both the person who suffers and you who try to stay close, in moments of pain the values ​​on which we build what we create and do are valid. it takes patience, listening, love.

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5 tips to stay close to a friend who is suffering

Let’s see together 5 tips to stay close to your friend who is sufferingtrying to avoid the classic mistakes of lack of empathy or desire to do too much:

Observe and make small gestures

When someone is sick they don’t need big demonstrations but small gestures. Try not to get lost in your thoughts and give a moment of relief through small actions that can be, for example, bring a hot herbal tea without expecting it, relieve her of some task or commitment, support her in choices, invite her to eat together, cook together a sweet. It is also enough to know how to give a little calmness, relaxation; it is also enough to be able to provide only a smile or put a hand on the chest to calm and welcome.

Gently encourage

Call when you feel your friend is unwell, shake her if needed but always with caution. Invite her not to stifle the moment of pain but rather to let off steam, throw out her emotions and avoid telling her how to do it at any cost. She encourages, or rather invites her to take her heart back in her hand and make it bloom, restore it with good energy. The typical mistake? Forcibly play down. The jokes and the humor they make everything fluid and light but be careful not to overdo it; playing down excessively risks making you appear too light and superficial. Remember that being close to your friend means going down into her “black hatch” together with her, not giving her two pats on her back; empathy lies in totally put yourself in the other person’s shoes, do not give her a small useless gesture of comfort, often pejorative. Being close and putting yourself in the shoes are two very different things.

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Bring her back to her plans

Maybe your friend is weakening due to a family, work, study, sentimental issue, there can be many valid reasons. Other times it is not a reaction triggered by something specific, but a deep feeling of discomfort towards a specific period of life, which perhaps fills with melancholy and nostalgia, for no relevant reason. You always try, without insisting, to bring her back to her projects, to her success, to distract her from what others expect from her, but direct it towards its goals sincere, those for whom it is worth gritting your teeth and returning to be brave.

Remind her how much you love her

Push on his self-esteem, on his strength, on his courage. Just let her know how important his presence is to you. You do not have to be physically present all the time, even a small message every now and then and a minimum commitment to make her “feel warm”. She tries to always be the person she counts on, by whom she feels welcomed, without exaggerating. Don’t get mad and don’t lose sight of yourself, stay on the coordination of your life and your daily days. Create positive bridges that are memories of the good times we had together, but with due empathy. Remember that being close to her while she is sick also allows you to know when you love her.

Ask questions gently

The worst part is adopting a kind of attitude that pushes your friend to have fun and have fun at all costs. Don’t force it to see people or to be in a group. Don’t be arrogant to think that the herd is always the solution. He asks what he needs, what he wants, what he hopes for. If you see her isolated and unable to move in a positive way, ask, ask what she would like. Know when you need to be quiet but don’t have too much trouble investigating gently what would make her feel better. Ask and listen. Asking is also a way to get closer.

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