Social media have enormous power, they reach everyone, they touch hearts and minds. But they also allow you to hurt, offend, insult, provoke waves of hatred towards a person or a characteristic of her. Thus everyone can become the target of haters, cowardly and disturbed people who often hide behind a nickname. The haters lash out at anyone: short, thin, leader, black, famous, handsome, ugly, gay, disabled, influencer, over 50.
Insults against fat people are one of the favorite sports of haters – it’s called fat shaming (shame of fat) the action of ferociously insulting overweight people to put them in trouble. We have to understand how to defend ourselves and do not be convinced by their poisonous comments that they are wrong, ugly, negative. Nevertheless a critical evaluation can also hide behind a seemingly kind comment from a friend: “But you are cute, if you lose weight you will become beautiful”.
When we don’t have to take it
It is true that when someone (in good faith, hopefully) gives us a compliment that hides a criticism of our physical form, they commit a rudeness towards us, but it is a gesture motivated by social customs often not even perceived. So we should not be angry if the DMs propose us to make movement to shed a few pounds. Most of the time they are suggestions given with sincerity and concern, dictated by common sense.
We know very well that excessive weight can prove to be dangerous to health. And a we are satisfied with how we are and we want to show it to the worldtogether with our ideas, what we are passionate about, our thoughts and our talents, we can do it beyond how we are made. And it is our right affirm our physicality whatever it is, as the recent (worldwide) affirmation of the body positivity, which promotes the acceptance of every physical aspect regardless of size, shape, skin color, gender.
However, we cannot tolerate the insults and vulgarity of the haters. They are a category of rude for pleasure, stubborn by vocation, ignorant for pleasure. They will not change their minds, will not stop insulting and will never regret. So let’s take them out like this.
The “soft” method: let’s throw them out with courtesy
We can respond to insults with a single sentence: “Thank you for your criticisms, they will help me improve, if you like, keep criticizing me, I will need it”. The basic hater is a bit dull, but such a polite phrase should blow him away (better if repeated): he is thanked and encouraged to make other criticisms to help us improve our person! Damn, he who wanted to put us down is even helping to make us better. Too much even for a miserable hater who just wanted to tear us apart.
The “strong” method: let’s drive them out with energy
If instead we choose a more “aggressive” approach, we have three options: block the hater, silence it and, in the extreme case of defamation and serious threats, want it In the first two cases we do it alone: to block the hater it takes a moment and he will no longer see anything of us (but he can re-emerge with another false profile, which freezes again). Or we can silence him: we will not see him anymore but he will continue to see our posts without being able to do anything more. In the third case we will have to resort first to the Postal Police: very often the haters are anonymous and only the police can trace the identity of the “jammer” by tracing his IP address.
We don’t believe in others, we believe in ourselves
The important is never believe what a lion writes to us from the keyboard. Or even a hundred, because the haters support each other and agree with each other, even if they write ignoble and false things. We leave their words out of our hearts (as well as banning the authors) because, if we let them in, we will be the ones who have opened its door for them. Rather, we try to always remember that we are free to express ourselvesbeyond how we are made.
This applies to social networks, but also for real life, the one in 3D, where we meet people, make choices, express ideas, look for our way to happiness. And that we are valid for what we have in mind, not for ours BMI, the Body Mass Index. We’ll think about that if and when we decide, and not because an idiot insulted us.